Church Services Are Held in Tucson

by David Dvorkin

On January 8, 2011, a young man named Jared Lee Loughner shot and severely wounded United States Representative Gabrielle Giffords while she was meeting with constituents at an outdoor event in Tucson, Arizona. Besides Congresswoman Giffords, numerous other people attending the event were wounded, and six were killed, including a child. Despite the predictable instant flood of denials from our corporate–owned media, it was clear that hate radio had inspired, or at the very least triggered, this horrifying rampage. It was also clear that America's mania about guns and the resulting easy availability of weapons of individual destruction had made this crime possible.

Church services were held soon afterward. Inevitably, the theme of those services was the awesome wonderfulness and loving nature of God. It was the old, old story: No matter what terrible event has just occurred, get down on your knees and praise this willful, changeable, unpredictable Skydaddy. Never, never question the deeds or intentions of the celestial father. Take your undeserved punishments, and lick his divine boots.

Listening to part of one of those sickening services on the radio inspired this poem.


Praise God from whom
All blessings flow.
When bullets are flying,
He is a no-show.

When an earthquake
Is shaking,
A day off
He's taking.

When a hurricane
Is roaring
He says,
"That's so boring."

When hate radio triggers
A dangerous loon
He says, "I can do nothing
To stop those buffoons.

"I can't make them shut up
Because of free will.
They must have the freedom
To spew out their swill.

"And if a few children
Are killed in a rampage,
To quote some half-human,
That's collateral damage.

"Now, as for the innocents
Drowned in a flood,
It's really their free will
That's the source of the mud.

"They shouldn't have lived there.
They should have just moved.
With nonsensical logic
Is my innocence proved."

"But you could have stopped it!
You control even the seasons!"
"Oh? And just who are you
To question God's reasons?

"God loves all his creatures,
The feathered and finned.
So when people suffer,
Well, maybe they sinned.

"And here is the best part,
My favorite by far:
No death is my doing,
But all escapes are.

"If disaster kills millions,
No prob for God's fandom.
'It's awful, it's tragic,
But, ya know, it's just random.'

"But if someone alive
From the carnage should crawl,
'That's all the proof needed
That God loves us all!'

"When human skill and human pluck
Preserve a life against all odds,
My fandom sob and raise their hands
And say the credit is all God's.

"So here, at the end,
Is the name of the game:
I get the credit
And you get the blame."