Were I but King of Anglophonia

Long Live the King with a Capital K

The rule in English states that titles such as king or president are capitalized only if they precede the name of the person holding that title. According to this rule, you would refer to King Henry or Queen Elizabeth or President Clinton or President Gore, but you would say, "In those days, America suffered under the corrupt administration of a reeking pile of horse manure in the shape of a man who some people mistakenly thought was the president."

This rule is logical, clear, unambiguous, and tommyrot.

People have a natural and understandable tendency to capitalize the title of the head of state of their country whenever and however they use the title. Natural is the key word here. Many human beings have an intellectual commitment to democracy and equality, but almost all human beings have an emotional longing for monarchy and subservience. Witness all the fundamentalist Christians who insist that they're proud citizens of a democracy but who look forward eagerly to a time when an imaginary deity, bizarrely incarnated in the body of his own son, will establish a Medieval monarchy on Earth. Some other country may have a king, but we have the King. Some other country may have a president, but we have the President. The King of Anglophonia, being a king, thinks this is so natural, so deeply ingrained in human nature, that any grammarian who opposes it might as well try to stop the tide.

(Parenthetically, this human tendency shows us why a constitutional monarchy with a figurehead monarch and all real power vested in a democratically elected parliament and prime minister is inherently more reliably democratic than a system like the American one, in which the functions of head of state and head of government are combined in one office. A man does not achieve the presidency in a country like the United States or the premiership in a country with a parliamentary system without being an aggressive, domineering sort with a strong will to power. However, in a parliamentary system, the prime minister is seen as human, fallible, and easily disposed of, all of which limits his ability to gather the reins of power. Whatever reverence the populace feels the need to express for a symbol of power, it vests in a king or queen who has no way to capitalize on that reverence. But in America, the natural human tendency to want a king to worship - a tendency which is even stronger in Americans than in other peoples - is vested in a man with real political and legal power. This is a terribly dangerous situation. Even if that man is in reality no more than a reeking pile of horse manure that was illegitimately installed in power by family cronies sitting on the Supreme Court, a very little bit of royal display will bring the masses to their knees in manure worship. The inevitable results are demonstrated by the dismal history of the United States in the early years of the 21st century.)

Queen Leonore's Addition

In contrast to my beloved King, I find nothing particularly strange or unnatural about the simple English rule he stated in the first sentence of this section. Thus, I can write quite naturally, "The reeking pile of horse manure in the shape of a man whom the deluded masses call President George W. Bush was never actually elected president."

Another example: "That man over there, Dr. Brown, is a very fine doctor. That woman over there, the one who calls herself Sister Mary Frances, is not really a nun, and she is no one's sister."

To sum up: Capitalize the title before the person's name. Do not capitalize the word that refers to the person's profession or rank.